Working out where to begin this blog has been the biggest block to my writing. So much pressure to get it right, so many options to choose from. In the end, I’ve opted simply to start with the present, the best place to be.
It’s a Monday afternoon, I’m sat with the most incredible views in front of me. I’m with Neelam masi, and as you will come to learn, time in her company is always time spent feeding the soul. The hardest part however is being away from you. My mind frequently wanders back to England, ‘What time is it back there?’ , ‘What will you and Daddy be doing?’ , ‘What will you have eaten?’ , ‘Would you have slept?’
I’ve made a conscious decision to leave my phone away from me, TO BE PRESENT here, on this mountain, to allow everything around me to support me and help find my flow. It’s a great thing to do, however I am looking forward to returning home to your beaming face scrumptious cuddles!!!
You are currently 16 months old, and you are my life’s greatest achievement. You started nursery a few months ago and absolutely love spending time there. I have returned to work, and at the moment we are just figuring out how to establish some routine and structure around the days of the week.
You’re trying to speak, and we have THE BEST conversations day in day out. I wonder if you understand me when we speak? I don’t speak baby babble but I feel we totally have this communication game down (with thanks to lots of pointing and acting along the way 😊 ). Your favourite word, without a doubt is Mamma – woohooo, Daddy isn’t overly impressed! Your second favourite word is nappy, in your cute nap nap or pap pap way.
Your favourite song is Baby Shark and you’ve learnt the hand gestures from nursery which is uber cute, and your second favourite is twinkle twinkle little star.
Your favourite food is still up for debate, but your favourite fruit is certainly a banana, closely followed by watermelon.
My favourite time of day with you is in the morning as soon as you wake up. I come to your room as you babble away, you see me approaching and melt my heart with your smile and your bed head hair flopping all over the place! You rush to my arms and give me a cuddle like no other, deep, loving meaningful and fill my heart right up for the day ahead.
You energise me, you keep me happy, you keep me smiling, all with no effort at all. To have you in my life is a total blessing, a gift, a miracle. A circumstance I will never take for granted.
I know so many girls, who’s past, like mine, have been difficult. Girls wanting motherhood as deeply as I wanted it a few years ago. I hope they read these pages and find hope.
Life can be miraculous, but it can also be tough.
Mummy has had a taste of both, and in these entries, I will share it all with you.
Starting with where my journey to you began…………the summer of 2013
All my love, Mummy xxx
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